Whenever it snows,
I pretend that it snows just for me...
That God just knew that I loved it so much. So he made the clouds do one thing
and the temperature drop and *POOF* SNOW!
It's nearly impossible for me to be in a bad mood when it's snowing.
For Warning... this blog entry is completely pointless... nothing really thought out..just a mix of excitement and wanting to move my fingers over a key board.
Snow makes everything look good. It covers the trash gathered in the gutters, the oil spills on the road, the dead plants, and on and on and on.
I wish I had a big puffy snow suit. (That would be oh so attractive) I would sit outside all day in the snow. And drink hot chocolate with French Vanilla Kaluah (my new favorite drink)
It should be illegal to drive when it snows... all those tire marks making a mockery of the perfectly white streets.
1.20.2009
1.14.2009
Project # 1 Caramelized Banana with Rum Sauce
I'm not one for New Years Resolutions
HOWEVER
I decided that it is not a bad idea to try new things at the beginning of a new year.
SO, here is my list of things to do (its liable to change at any given moment)
1. Cook/Bake more.
2. Run every other day.
3. Find a mentor in Knoxville.
4. Compile a list of questions and get an interview with Professor Roger M. Nooe asking him about his endeavors with homeless people in Knoxville.
5. Learn to let go of my schedule, aka stop planning everything down to the minute.
6. Map out the road trip of my dreams and start saving up for it.
7. Read my camera manual.
8. Purchase.. or borrow a bike and ride it regularly.
9. Climb more tree's.
10. Be more intentional with my friends.
1.11.2009
Learning to love the differences
One of my favorite things in the world is listening to someone wise speak. Tonight, I went to a church service at "All Souls" church (which I'm absolutely enthralled by). There is something about getting back to the simplicity of life and learning to delve into the basics. The sermon tonight was about how the church of America has this tendency to hate, fear, or dis-respect people who are not "Christians". What we so commonly forget, is that our objective is not to argue our way into converting people. We have nothing to "prove" per say. We have adopted this "us vs. them" mindset about those who do not share our beliefs. What we so easily lose sight of is the fact that we are not supposed to run away from the dominant culture> It is inescapable. If all of us were to leave... what hope would we leave behind? In the Hebrew language, the phrase "to fear God" means to obey him, to respond to him, to worship him. If God is calling you do something... DO IT! The text that was used tonight was from Jonah and the whole point of it was written as a challenge, a challenge to reevaluate the way we think of non-Christians. It was a way of addressing prejudice. What is humbling, as the pastor pointed out, is that many non-christians are seeking God, or some higher power harder and more often than some Christians are.
Three things were proposed in the talk tonight...
1.That we can learn a tremendous amount from non-christians
-If all people are made in the image of God, then God is at work in all people, regardless of their beliefs.
2. We can partner with non-christians in projects, or organizations peacefully
-true, there is a fine line, but if we have a common bond, we can work along side non-christians who have similar passions
3. We need to rethink the language we use for non-Christians and our present culture
-we can acknowledge differences while treating them as brothers and sisters
-we can emphasize love for strangers
-we can talk more about Jesus than Satan
-we can be more welcoming rather than shunning
*We need to recognize difference of faith and difference in opinion as what it is and not as an attack on us. We are so quick to jump on the defensive and argue until we feel as though we have convinced others that we are right and they are wrong. We will be able to better serve our city if we learn to see ourselves as comrades rather than enemies.
Three things were proposed in the talk tonight...
1.That we can learn a tremendous amount from non-christians
-If all people are made in the image of God, then God is at work in all people, regardless of their beliefs.
2. We can partner with non-christians in projects, or organizations peacefully
-true, there is a fine line, but if we have a common bond, we can work along side non-christians who have similar passions
3. We need to rethink the language we use for non-Christians and our present culture
-we can acknowledge differences while treating them as brothers and sisters
-we can emphasize love for strangers
-we can talk more about Jesus than Satan
-we can be more welcoming rather than shunning
*We need to recognize difference of faith and difference in opinion as what it is and not as an attack on us. We are so quick to jump on the defensive and argue until we feel as though we have convinced others that we are right and they are wrong. We will be able to better serve our city if we learn to see ourselves as comrades rather than enemies.
12.28.2008
The Great Slump
It's that weird season where nothing seems very genuine.
Where life consists of going through the motions and you recognize it but don't know how to change it. Can you rightfully blame it on your setting, your circumstance, or even yourself? I don't know the answer's to these questions. But I do know that "The Great Slump" is something I have grown to despise. It appears to be inescapable. I know that there is reason in everything, so I know that it serves a purpose. But quite honestly, I can not WAIT until it's over. I am so good at disguising it, even my best friends probably don't notice. I can go to a million church services, read a million verses, pray a million prayers, but I can not seem to feel anything. Real faith is beyond feelings and emotions, so maybe God is teaching me what real faith is. Can I live faithfully for a month and counting in a state of emotionlessness? The question is more or less pointless to even ask. I don't have a choice. I am seeing that I don't live the way I do because I have a list of rules I'm following, its not because my mom says it is the right thing to do, it is not because it makes me feel better about myself. It is because I know, down in the depths of who I am, that there is no way I could live otherwise. "Thank you God for the Great Slump"....doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, But This too shall pass.
Where life consists of going through the motions and you recognize it but don't know how to change it. Can you rightfully blame it on your setting, your circumstance, or even yourself? I don't know the answer's to these questions. But I do know that "The Great Slump" is something I have grown to despise. It appears to be inescapable. I know that there is reason in everything, so I know that it serves a purpose. But quite honestly, I can not WAIT until it's over. I am so good at disguising it, even my best friends probably don't notice. I can go to a million church services, read a million verses, pray a million prayers, but I can not seem to feel anything. Real faith is beyond feelings and emotions, so maybe God is teaching me what real faith is. Can I live faithfully for a month and counting in a state of emotionlessness? The question is more or less pointless to even ask. I don't have a choice. I am seeing that I don't live the way I do because I have a list of rules I'm following, its not because my mom says it is the right thing to do, it is not because it makes me feel better about myself. It is because I know, down in the depths of who I am, that there is no way I could live otherwise. "Thank you God for the Great Slump"....doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, But This too shall pass.
12.16.2008
Secrets
There is a small coffee shop on 12th avenue. I don't even know the name of it, but it usually gets passed up and the Frothy Monkey tends to steal its traffic.
I was in this little hole in the wall coffee shop a few nights ago.
It's occupants were few, a mere three customers.
To give you a visual; the walls are stark white and made of cinder blocks. The floor is tiled and dirty. The place lacks color. There is a small table with band advertisements and random flyers announcing various types of media in the area. There is only one worker, who looks tired but kind. She is mumbling about how they used to close at 7 but they pushed it back to 9. Her words seem bitter but her tone begs to differ. She isn't complaining, simply stating. I love this coffee shop.
Apart from the man buying a muffin, and the girl doing research on an old laptop in the corner, one man sits all alone.
He has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. Sad eyes, eyes that tell a thousand stories in one glance. The kind of eyes that make you want to look away because you can almost feel the pain they have seen...but you can't look away, you're trapped. This man has the darkest skin I have seen in a while. As if he just dropped in from a foreign country. And maybe he did, but that is besides the point. He is old.. quite old, tattered and torn in appearance. His clothes, his hair... his eyes. Have you ever looked into torn eyes? Because the experience is something that stays with you. It's one of those things that you don't ever really forget about. He has telling eyes. I would say that I hope my eyes tell a thousand stories.. but I don't think I have a thousand stories to tell. The eyes of the old have a mystery in them, an uneasy tiredness, a strange peace, it's almost as if they know that death is near.. but are somehow comforted by it. I bet it is much like the eyes of a newborn. Eyes full of secrets. You begin you're life not knowing how to speak... so you won't tell you're secrets to the world. You must learn to talk, and in the process you forget the secrets only to get them back when death is at you're door; when you are sitting in a coffee shop on a Saturday night in December at 7:00 PM alone, tired, worn out, and looking into the eyes of each person that passes... silently telling them your secrets.
I was in this little hole in the wall coffee shop a few nights ago.
It's occupants were few, a mere three customers.
To give you a visual; the walls are stark white and made of cinder blocks. The floor is tiled and dirty. The place lacks color. There is a small table with band advertisements and random flyers announcing various types of media in the area. There is only one worker, who looks tired but kind. She is mumbling about how they used to close at 7 but they pushed it back to 9. Her words seem bitter but her tone begs to differ. She isn't complaining, simply stating. I love this coffee shop.
Apart from the man buying a muffin, and the girl doing research on an old laptop in the corner, one man sits all alone.
He has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. Sad eyes, eyes that tell a thousand stories in one glance. The kind of eyes that make you want to look away because you can almost feel the pain they have seen...but you can't look away, you're trapped. This man has the darkest skin I have seen in a while. As if he just dropped in from a foreign country. And maybe he did, but that is besides the point. He is old.. quite old, tattered and torn in appearance. His clothes, his hair... his eyes. Have you ever looked into torn eyes? Because the experience is something that stays with you. It's one of those things that you don't ever really forget about. He has telling eyes. I would say that I hope my eyes tell a thousand stories.. but I don't think I have a thousand stories to tell. The eyes of the old have a mystery in them, an uneasy tiredness, a strange peace, it's almost as if they know that death is near.. but are somehow comforted by it. I bet it is much like the eyes of a newborn. Eyes full of secrets. You begin you're life not knowing how to speak... so you won't tell you're secrets to the world. You must learn to talk, and in the process you forget the secrets only to get them back when death is at you're door; when you are sitting in a coffee shop on a Saturday night in December at 7:00 PM alone, tired, worn out, and looking into the eyes of each person that passes... silently telling them your secrets.
12.12.2008
There is something about Christmas that makes me such a sap...
I really kind of love this poem.
“6:59 AM”
Shane Koyczan
I’ve been told
that people in the army
do more by 7:00 am
than I do
in an entire day
but if I wake
at 6:59 am
and turn to you
to trace the outline of your lips
with mine
I will have done enough
and killed no one
in the process.
“6:59 AM”
Shane Koyczan
I’ve been told
that people in the army
do more by 7:00 am
than I do
in an entire day
but if I wake
at 6:59 am
and turn to you
to trace the outline of your lips
with mine
I will have done enough
and killed no one
in the process.
12.03.2008
Toco el aire a usted no lo toco
http://wvs.topleftpixel.com/08/12/02/
Hello Caroline,
This is the end of an era.
"Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."
You have an unlimited amount of directions you can choose to go from here; a room full of doors. And each one is different, each one is valuable. Close your mouth and listen. You will hear me say, "This is the way, walk in it."
For now, live each present day as it comes. Do not worry about yesterday or tomorrow.
__________________________________
It is an interesting thing to learn how to not live in the past, but to learn from it. People say, "Live for today!!!" or even "What you do today, effects tomorrow!"
Our culture is very present/future directed. But the past... It is a controlling thing. We are told to forget it... but forgetting it would leave room to repeat it. The human race seemingly has a problem with repeating the past. We drudge up old wounds, have world wars one after the other, pass on prejudices, and continue to believe that if we just have that ONE THING!(whatever it may be for you at this point and time in your life), our lives would be complete... we would finally be happy. The past has a way of lying to us.
I think it helps to document the past, so that we don't forget how it felt. So we don't forget what it cost us in the end. Emotions are fleeting... easily forgotten in time. But what does it look like, to live each day, using the past as a reference of what works and what doesn't? What does it look like to live in such a way that pushes us in the direction of our future but doesn't idolize it? I'm not sure that I know.
Hello Caroline,
This is the end of an era.
"Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."
You have an unlimited amount of directions you can choose to go from here; a room full of doors. And each one is different, each one is valuable. Close your mouth and listen. You will hear me say, "This is the way, walk in it."
For now, live each present day as it comes. Do not worry about yesterday or tomorrow.
__________________________________
It is an interesting thing to learn how to not live in the past, but to learn from it. People say, "Live for today!!!" or even "What you do today, effects tomorrow!"
Our culture is very present/future directed. But the past... It is a controlling thing. We are told to forget it... but forgetting it would leave room to repeat it. The human race seemingly has a problem with repeating the past. We drudge up old wounds, have world wars one after the other, pass on prejudices, and continue to believe that if we just have that ONE THING!(whatever it may be for you at this point and time in your life), our lives would be complete... we would finally be happy. The past has a way of lying to us.
I think it helps to document the past, so that we don't forget how it felt. So we don't forget what it cost us in the end. Emotions are fleeting... easily forgotten in time. But what does it look like, to live each day, using the past as a reference of what works and what doesn't? What does it look like to live in such a way that pushes us in the direction of our future but doesn't idolize it? I'm not sure that I know.
12.02.2008
and so it seems that I am in fact, not blind.
humiliation: the act of realizing that, in a moment of divine truth, tainted by false pride, you prophesied your own downfall....
Stitch in your knitted brow
and you don't know how
you're gonna get it out
crushed under heavy chest
trying to catch your breath
but it always beats you by a step,
making the best of it
playing the hand you get
you're not alone in this
Stitch in your knitted brow
and you don't know how
you're gonna get it out
crushed under heavy chest
trying to catch your breath
but it always beats you by a step,
making the best of it
playing the hand you get
you're not alone in this
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