Happy Valentines Day

To all the Gilbert's and Anne's of the world.
Who ever you are, and where ever you may be.

Kitchen Linoleum

"Kitchen Linoleum"
Audre Lorde

"The cockroach
who is dying
and the woman
who is blind
agree
not to notice
each other's shame."

What I've been thinking about lately...

Tonight I was at a meeting and while on the topic of why there isn't more diversity in the church, (the place that was intended to be the temple of God) someone started talking about the diversity of God.. and it lead me to this conclusion.

We must learn to see God in every person. Diversity is one way of showing many of the different facets of God himself. He is so diverse in nature, that one ethnic background wouldn't be enough to capture him, one culture would not come close to his creativity, one dialect or language wouldn't approach the entirety of his vocabulary.

How odd that we would, as a people, tend to push away the unknown. Our very nature is to be with God, to know Him, to receive from Him, to grow in Him once we have the Spirit of the Lord dwelling within us...it just doesn't make sense to me.

I don't want to call out churches that I am not a part of but there is a church here in Knoxville (a church that I love, I love the pastor, the people, the idea of it.. I love the church) and they have graciously offered a wing of the church building to a predominantly African American congregation to hold service in. This is great! This is fabulous... but I can't help but think.. That is so neat that you are giving your space to a congregation with no place to go.. but why are they not all just worshiping together? Why are the white people having "church" in one half of the building and the black people in another.

I was talking to my dad about this over the weekend and we talked a lot about how the issue has become more of a cultural preference issue than a segregation issue. People worship in different styles. Some are more comfortable with standing up and dancing, while others prefer to sit in reverence. Quite honestly, many times it's not an ethical difference or anything fundamental.. simply a difference of preference. The other thing we concluded was that location has a lot to do with the diversity of a church. If you plant a church in the middle of white suburbia, naturally, your congregation will most definitely be predominately white. Even on other scales like economic diversity. If you plant your church in the middle of the projects, you are likely to get a low income congregation. It's only natural.

It make's me sick to think that Sunday morning is the most segregated time of the entire week, but I have no idea how or where to start changing that. I don't think that God intended so much separation, but there are so many factors that add up to making things the way they are.

All I know to do is to take on a stance of wanting to learn about and better understand the cultures, ethnicities, and economic populations that I am not a part of. I think exposure to differences creates change and that's all I know to do at this point.


Any ideas???



PS... I know this is ridiculous.. but I love this commercial (mainly for the song.. but still)

Digging Graves

Sometimes I forget that dying to yourself is uncomfortable.
And then I have days like today... where I am reminded of its un-comfort.
Whoever said life was full of candy and roses was largely mistaken.

"Point"
Pablo Neruda

No hay espacio más ancho que el dolor
No hay universo como aquel que sangra

translated from the Spanish

There is no space wider than that of pain
There is no universe like that which bleeds

Freckles!!!!

I used to hate my freckles..I'm talking, tried to cover them with makeup, prayed they went away, scrubbed my face trying to get them off... hated them.
Today I love my freckles.
The End




movie quotes of the day:

Evening
"You know what you've got? You have got a talent for love. You're like a love genius. And there are too many statues of generals and politicians, and there are not enough statues of someone like you. In this world, there is so much of what looks like love, and sounds like love, and calls itself love, but it isn't. It's just people saying and doing what they think they ought to say and do.
We are mysterious creatures, aren't we? And at the end so much of it turns out not to matter.
Mistakes are beautiful, baby. Mistakes are part of the fun. All that to say, you, are the greatest. You're the greatest. You're the greatest. So here's to love, an-and, here's to you."

Evita
"The choice was mine and mine completely. I could have any prize that I desired. I could burn with the spendor of the brightest fire, or else - or else, I could choose time. Remember... I was very young then. And a year was forever and a day. So what use could fifty, sixty, seventy be? I saw the lights, and I was on my way. And how I lived. How they shone! But how soon the lights were gone."

Findings

Check this song...

Casiotone for the Painfully Alone - Old Panda Days

So the weather of choice is snow.
Thank you and Amen.
More please?

I made a vanilla, banana, cream, pudding pie today. Haven't tried it yet, but we will see.

I am fairly absent minded at times. And I can't help but recognize how patient God is. I don't even know that I really understand that kind of patience. But I'm certainly glad for it.
I think about 25 people I know are having birthday's this month. I have decided that February is a good month to be born in because not much happens, ere go, no one is too busy to celebrate :)

Movie quote of the day:

Death of a Salesman

"I run out of that building and I see... the sky. I see all the things I love in this world. The work, the food, the time to sit and smoke. And I look at this pen and I ask myself, "What the hell am I grabbing this thing for? Why am I trying to become something I don't wanna become when all I want is out there waiting for me the minute I say I know who I am?"

Play our hearts lament,

Like an Unrehearsed Symphony

I think there is a reason that dust looks dull and gray when resting on a desk,
but shimmers when it falls past the sun coming through your window
I think there is a reason that money is the root of all evil
but allows the poor to be fed and clothed.
I think there is a reason that tears come both when you are overwhelmingly happy,
and when you are terribly sad.

[to continue the movie quotes...]
Crimes and Misdemeanors
"We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand scale, most of these choices are on lesser points. But we define ourselves by the choices we have made. We are, in fact, the sum total of our choices."

For the sake of Hollywood

I have a thing for slightly cheesy but (more importantly) well written movie lines.

American Beauty
"It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in. "

"I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday."

---

Breakfast at Tiffanys
"He's all right! Aren't you, cat? Poor cat! Poor slob! Poor slob without a name! The way I see it I haven't got the right to give him one. We don't belong to each other. We just took up one day by the river. I don't want to own anything until I find a place where me and things go together. I'm not sure where that is but I know what it is like. It's like Tiffany's."

"You musn't give your heart to a wild thing. The more you do, the stronger they get, until they're strong enough to run into the woods or fly into a tree. And then to a higher tree and then to the sky."