1.25.2009

Oh God, save me from my brain

And after all this time, I still haven't learned...

Give yourself a round of applause,
a pat on the back.
Caroline, you have done it again.
Pulled a quick one and saved some face.
It really is shocking to see how after so much has happened,
you still have the audacity to be so prideful.

I can pray for humility for years on end and until
I allow myself to be humbled, my prayers will be in vein.
It's fairly easy to ask things in prayer,
quite another thing to receive the answers.

I keep wanting to give myself ultimatums;
a list of "I will never's", but I know it w
ould end up frustrating me more to look back and see that my demands were not enough-
With another notch in the belt of lessons learned the hard way.

If I could just allow myself to rest assured that nothing is beyond repair, then it would be a lot easier. At the same time, I would like to think that someday I may, with the help of the Lord, be able to do this right.

To all of my friends and family:
once again, I am sorry. I'm sure it won't be the last time I let you down. If anything, pray that I learn from my mistakes.

No comments: