3.09.2009

Adventure


"The Uses of Sorrow"
Mary Oliver

(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)

Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift."

There are some things in life that come at you fast.
Others, that come so slowly, that you can't even see the progression.
It appears that I am in a slow moving time, which usually would make me anxious, frustrated, and highly antsy.
However, my attitude is remarkably different this time around.
I have always been really good at manipulating and controlling situations. Consequently, all of the things that I have tried to or even successfully controlled, have not worked out.
Not to say that I didn't learn anything or grow from those times, but inevitably they ended....and all for the better. I am in a place now of waiting. And I am coming to find that waiting is a form of action. And because I am such a hands on, always wanting to DO something kind of person, this realization, of "waiting as an action" has in a way, revolutionized for me, the idea of patience in general.
When I step back and see that I don't have to make things happen, "be in the right place at the right time", or make myself super available, I am able to rest assured that God has it taken care of. In all honesty, we can live....and that's about it. Outcomes are not our perogative, they belong to the Lord. After having spent many years thinking I had to "make things work" and finally realizing that the burden isn't mine to carry, I have stepped into a freedom and a peace that I didn't even know existed or was available to me on this earth.
So with that being said,
Thank you God for allowing me to see past my "I want it now" mindset and helping me begin to learn how to let go of my plans and my timing.


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