I have been thinking a lot for the past two days about vision.
About calling.
About the Will of God.
I have noticed that I seem to get highly frustrated with the people in my life who are Christians and don't seem to be walking down the road into the destiny that God wants for them.
On one hand, who am I to know what God has called them to?
On the other hand, what kind of friend am I if I kick back and keep my mouth shut.
I have a really hard time with the concept of judgement. In the Bible it talks about not judging non-Christians because they are not held to the same values as Christians are. I feel like I have no problem accepting the people who don't claim Jesus as a way of life.
Our world is screaming 'DON'T judge me'! and for the world as a secular entity, I feel like I do a good job of not judging those that don't claim grace. If you don't claim to follow Christ then I understand why your life may look very different than mine... you would have no reason to follow a bunch of "rules" that you don't even believe in.
However, Jesus calls us to hold our brothers and sisters accountable. A friend pointed out today that accountability is a form of judgement that is righteous- God wants us to do that as long as we first hold our selves to the same measure and as long as our motives are rooted in love.
Let me just tell you... I am not a fan of confrontation. I don't like stepping on toes. I don't like hurting feelings. I am a people pleaser to the MAX.
But God tells us to call each other out in love.
I have a lot to learn about how to lovingly call out.
My past (for all of my long lasting friends who have seen my tainted humanity take over) reflects many good motives, a few not so good motives, and generally- terrible attempts to lovingly call people out.
I am still learning.. and will be for the rest of my life.
But here is the thing.... for so long I told myself, "Caroline, don't judge, don't judge" and it became a very bad thought process.
I saw myself turn into a passive and overly accepting person. I was tolerating things that were clearly not what God had in mind.
I'm still wrestling with the fact that I feel God pulling my heart strings telling me to be bold in love and out of love to call things out.
I know for the most part my motives are in line. I have been given a heart that mourns for other people. I have taken it as a burden for so long and I am realizing that God wants to use it for good. I look at some of the people I know and see gifts that I envy, potential that I crave to see used for the Kingdom, etc... and when it goes unused, I mourn, I GRIEVE! It would probably destroy me if I let it. I don't want to carry around all this baggage and stress myself out over what people are or aren't doing because it really is not up to me to fix anything or anyone. It just gets ever so complicated when I feel God pushing me to encourage people.
And that is the thing... encouragement is actually a form of loving accountability.
I want to speak life into people. I want to utter words of the Spirit that urge people to turn around and run hard and fast after the things God has placed in front of them.
I'm studying to be a social worker for crying out loud... I am wired in a way that makes me want to empower people.
Anyway,
that is what I am wrestling with at the moment.. encouragement that breeds change for the better. I want to see my Christian friends walk into everything that God has for them... it literally makes me sick to watch people walk around blind to half of their potential.
I feel like I sound bitter and that really isn't the case at all.. It's just a hard concept to grasp... loving people enough to say things that might hurt.
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